Posted tagged ‘simple tools’

Are You Living the Life You Want

August 21, 2009

What does your ideal life look like?  If you were to carry on living your life like you are today, will you feel fulfilled and satisfied in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?  What is getting in the way of you living the life you want?  What is your relationship like with yourself?  These are some of the questions that I ask my clients when they come in and see me. Many people feel dissatisfied with their life as they know it, yet feel powerless at changing it.

The exercise of looking at how you are currently living your life and how disconnected you are from what you want can be quite eye opening.  Many of my clients blame excessive demands from work, family, and other expectations as the reason why they are off track.  Others will cite their own habits and beliefs as the culprit.  Regardless of what the reasons are, many people are unhappy in their lives.

How are you doing with these questions?  Do you feel on track and excited about the direction your life is going or do you feel disconnected and out of touch with yourself and what you want?  Before you can change anything in your life, you need to develop awareness of what is not working for you.

Awareness begins with developing a healthier, closer relationship with you. This relationship can be nurtured through tuning into the four ways that your body speaks to you: your physical body, your mind, your emotions and your self.

Your physical body:  How does your physical body communicate with you?  With sensations such as hunger, thirst, pain, fatigue and others your body lets you know when it physically needs some attention.  Do you listen to your physical body when it needs something or do you put it off until you have more time to deal with the need?

Your mind:  Sometimes called the “ego”, your mind reminds you of rules, expectations and norms of behavior that “should” be followed. It is also referred to as mental intelligence, knowledge and reason.  The mind shows up in self-talk and is often quite critical in how it speaks to you.   “You should have done this, you could have done that,” etc.  Becoming aware of your inner critic is very helpful in developing a healthier relationship with yourself

Your emotions: Emotions are what make you human and often occur below the surface of your consciousness. Feelings of sadness, frustration, anger, joy, excitement and others can create sensations in your body that often go unnoticed.   When you become aware of and name the emotions that you are feeling, you can learn effective ways of dealing with them.  Often times, when we are under stress, our lives are ruled by our emotions and we become more reactionary rather than approaching the situation from a calm perspective

Your self: This is the voice of the inner you.  The “you” that may not be heard because your mind or emotions take over.

    The key to developing a healthier relationship with yourself is to become aware of all of these voices and noticing which one you give priority to. What are the messages you are getting from your physical body, your mind, your emotions and your self?  Do you give yourself permission to listen to and act on what is right for you?

    Remember, as you venture forth on your journey through life, be gentle on yourself.  It is only with awareness that you can change anything.  It is through reflecting on how you are living your life, telling yourself the truth and being with yourself in the present moment that allows you to discover another beautiful layer of you.

    Blog with you later.

    Gerrianne

    Conscious Eating

    July 9, 2009

    I woke up this morning and realized I have been in a bit of a fog.  I have been working hard getting content developed for my new website being launched in August, writing newsletters, recording podcasts etc.  I have been getting an amazing amount done but yet somehow I have been feeling a little disconnected.

    One of the sure ways I know that I am disconnected with me is when I  eat unconsciously

    I have had several meals lately in front of the computer or standing at the kitchen counter.  There have been times in the past week where I have eaten my entire meal without realizing it and I have not tasted a thing. Last night, I made a bowl of popcorn and added lots of butter and proceeded to eat the whole thing in record time while watching TV.  I could not believe it when I noticed it was all done. I went to bed not feeling great.  When I woke up this morning I really woke up i.e. became conscious of my disconnection to myself.

    What do I really want – I want to have a great relationship with my body and make a conscious decision when I eat to be in relationship with the food I am eating, be conscious of the act of eating and know that I am eating foods that are the best for me

    In this moment: What can I do right now – Breathe and be gentle on myself.  I want to acknowledge what I have been doing well – I have been eating gluten free for the past three weeks without difficulty, I am drinking more water, I stopped eating those potatoes the other night (that does not happen often), and I have cut back on caffeine. There have been many other positive things as well.

    In this moment: What do I notice?  – I notice that when I recognize my eating is not what I would like it to be, I start to beat myself up and notice all that I don’t do.  However, when I start to list what I do well, I acknowledge myself,  and feel more connected with my humanness.  Many of my eating habits are just that, habits that I am changing over time.  What I do know is that I am much more conscious of what I am eating and when I am eating than I have ever been before

    For years, my relationship with food was very unhealthy.  I would always be on the lookout for pastries, breads, desserts etc. and I realized I would go to food to stuff my feelings and avoid being real.  I would either be in overload with food or would deny myself what I wanted.  I was obsessed with my weight and focused on what I should not eat vs what I wanted to eat. When I look back on the way I used to be with food and how I am now (most of the time), I see how far I have come in my quest to eat more consciously.  As I shed my old habits, and shift my beliefs about my relationship with food, I am amazed how much better I feel.

    The biggest part of conscious eating is relationship with yourself. Spend time in appreciation of your body and all it does for you. Nurture it and be kind. After all, it has taken you this far and you need it to be there for the duration.

    Take care all and I will blog with you later.

    Gerrianne

    Permission to be Negative – Expanded

    July 7, 2009

    I have had a few people email me about my posts “Giving Yourself Permission to be Negative” and “Shining Light on the Shadow”. They raised the question about when is enough enough so that the “Law of Attraction” does not become attracted to the negative energy  you are releasing.  To make it clear – giving yourself permission to be negative is a way of releasing the energy that gets built up in your system when you do not express it. It is like trying to keep a cork on a bottle of carbonated soda you have just shaken.  Allowing the pressure to escape will result in a calm presence in the bottle afterwards.  If however, you do not release the pressure, it can take a long time for the pressure to release.

    What are your beliefs about being negative? You may think that if you say something negative that you will attract negativity in your life.  Yet, how much negativity do we carry around that is unexpressed because we fear saying it out loud.  Where does this unspent negative energy go?  When do we give ourselves the opportunity to rid our bodies of this negative energy?  I do not profess to know the answers to these questions for you.  Only you can decide what is right for you. My goal is to help you develop some awareness of where the negativity goes.

    Remember – There are safe and appropriate ways to release your negativity that do not impact others. You can do this in the privacy of your own home, your car, with a trusted friend who recognizes that you are just venting steam or out on a walk in nature where you can be nurtured by the beauty around you.  What I have found is after I give myself full permission to feel all that I need to feel – “warts and all”, I find myself at one with the world and feel like I can do anything. The negativity has disappeared and I reclaim my perspective that all is right with the world.  From that place I can move mountains.

    I welcome your thoughts and feedback on giving yourself permission to be negative.  What do you notice works for you? Does the thought of letting yourself be negative scare you?  Is this a new concept for you or is this something that you allow yourself to do regularly.

    Let me know, I would love to hear from you.

    Gerrianne

    Are you Grounded?

    June 22, 2009

    How many of you know what it means to be grounded? What does it look like for you?

    Being grounded is knowing I am here, in my body, in this space and time, in this moment.  I am present in my life – NOW.

    This can be challenging to achieve at the best of times.  Just this morning, I woke up and began thinking about  my plans for launching my new website, writing my blog, drafting my newsletter< I was no where in my body now.  I noticed I had not even said good morning to my body, felt the energy flow through my veins, stretched to welcome the day or even opened my eyes. Wow, even though I work with “being in the moment” every day, it is a challenge to keep myself present to all that I am doing.

    So this morning when I felt so disconnected I asked myself:

    In this momentwhere am I?

    Answer – trying to be here

    In this moment – where is here?

    Answer – in my bed

    In this moment – What do I see?

    Answer – beautiful Mount Paul outside my window

    In this moment – How do I feel?

    Answer – tired and have an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach

    In this moment – What do I want to do?

    Answer – Breathe and get into my body, follow my energy and let myself sleep longer if I need to

    Then I had the little niggly in the back of my mind that said, you should really get up you have so much to do, you are being lazy, where is your energy, what is wrong with you this morning?

    In this moment – What do I want?

    Answer – I want to listen to my body, get connected with my moments, honor my inner voice, be present.

    In this moment – What can I do now?

    Answer – Breathe, breathe and breathe some more.  BE mindful in what I am doing.

    From there, I got up, took the dog for a walk, took lots of deep breaths, paid attention to my actions of walking, breathing and worked on keeping my mind still.  When I got into the office today, I was much more grounded – I was here.  I know I have all these things to do but I love that I am following my energy to get them done.  I feel here – at least for this moment.

    Blog with you later.  Enjoy your day

    Gerrianne

    Telling yourself the truth

    June 11, 2009

    I just had the opportunity to read a great blog about limiting beliefs by Kim de Young of Metromom.  It is worthwhile reading for any of you who know that your subconscious beliefs get in the way of moving forward.  She has a great way of sharing her insights. http://metromom.com/MetromomBlog/2009/06/10/women-entrepreneurs-are-limiting-beliefs-holding-you-back/

    Some of the most amazing growth periods in my life and in my business have been because I have taken the time to look at my life, tell myself the truth about how I feel and take some action steps to help me get to where I want to go.  That having been said, sometimes I have to admit, I just don’t want to take a look. Even more than that, I may take a look but I don’t want to tell myself the truth about how I feel. Deep down however, when I do not tell myself the truth, I know that I am kidding myself and eventually it will all catch up with me.

    Today, I want you to ask yourself just one question – In this moment – how do I feel about my life. You may be happy, content, peaceful, excited and energized. I hope so.

    However, for many people this is not how they feel about their life.  Many people are sad, angry, scared, frustrated or any other negative emotion.  If this is the case

    Take an intentional breath

    Name that feeling – it helps to name the emotion – angry, sad, scared

    Ask yourself – what can I do about this RIGHT NOW

    You may want to go outside catch a breath of fresh air, walk around the block,

    You may need to Blow off some steam

    Tell yourself the truth

    Take action

    Take another deep intentional breath

    Let me know how you do and if you have any questions.

    Blog with you later

    Gerrianne

    Giving Myself Permission to do NOTHING

    May 24, 2009

    Life has been busy for me lately with the re:design and content development of my web site, writing and recording podcasts, writing blog posts as well as seeing clients and all of the administration that comes with owning my own business.  I just took training on Twitter and Linked-in and feel a bit overwhelmed with all I have to do.  I absolutely love it all and feel on track with everything but the volume of work at times seems a bit over the top.

    On Tuesday, I felt scattered, had low energy and was really foggy in my thinking.    As I looked at the things I wanted to get done on my “to do”  list, phone calls, emails, banking, content development, editing podcasts etc. as well as writing my speech for Toastmasters, I felt at a loss for where to begin. I knew that I needed to do something otherwise my day would be struggle.

    I got quiet for a moment, took an intentional breath and asked myself  “what can I do RIGHT NOW” to get myself on track.  The message I got from my “self” was loud and clear “do nothing”. I thought, “how can I take a break when I have so much to do”. Yet, I know from experience that I need to give myself permission to listen to my body and myself when I get these messages. So, I gave myself permission to “do nothing” i.e. not write my speech, not look on twitter or write a blog,  not do the banking and not respond to emails.  NOTHING!!!

    I poured myself a cup of tea, put my feet up and turned on some relaxing music.  I did some intentional breathing and closed my eyes for a few moments.  What happened next for me is a testament to living in the moment.  I followed my energy and picked up a piece of paper to make some notes about what I wanted to do.  Before I knew it, I had  composed my speech for Toastmasters (outline and the content ready to be edited and polished).  From there, I got up, went to see a colleague next door and came across another colleague whom I had been meaning to contact.  We were able to reconnect and set up an appointment to meet. After that, I responded to emails and got MOST of the things completed on my list. It was all done easily and effortlessly.

    If I would have pushed through I know it would have taken me 10 times longer.  This way, I took care of myself and got reenergized and before I knew it everything was done.

    So next time you feel overwhelmed or are starting to feel like stress is beginning to build, ask yourself “What can I do RIGHT NOW” to feel better.  Then be quiet and listen to the messages and ACT ON THEM.  If you do, I bet you will be amazed at the results you achieve.

    Take care all and I will blog with you later.

    Gerrianne

    Feeling good – “in the moment”

    May 21, 2009

    There has been a lot written about the “Law of Attraction”, “The Secret”,Power of Positive Thinking” and many others to help guide us on the road to living and thinking more positively.  These books and self improvement movements are attempting to teach us that we can manifest and achieve greatness in our lives depending on our perspective and our beliefs.  In order to have the life we want, we need to change how we think and feel in order to achieve what we want to attract in our lives.

    This is a very powerful concept and one that brings great success to those who can master the principals.  The reality for many people however, is that this is easy in theory but difficult in practice.  How can we start to change our perspectives and our beliefs in order to live “the life we want”?  My answer to you is “moment by moment”.

    I described in a previous post that our body responds to the stories we tell whether real or imagined. If we recount the story of how someone hurt us, angered us, jilted us etc. and we tell this story repeatedly to ourselves or anyone who will listen, we are stimulating the secretion of stress hormones in our body – just by reliving the story. Unfortunately in society today, it is all too common for people to dwell on negativity and sad stories.  Look at what happens every time there is a story of human tragedy; the media overloads us with stories, images etc. to help us relive the tragedy several times each day/week and even months.

    So what can you do shift to a more positive life? Remember I told you that our body responds to the stories we tell whether real or imagined.  So if you can reconnect with a positive story, something that makes you smile, something that makes you feel good, then the opposite can happen.  The feel good hormones – serotonin, endorphins, and DHEA are released when we tell a story that makes us feel good.

    So what makes you smile? Imagine puppy dogs running with feet that are too big for their bodies, a child learning to walk and how they giggle when they take their first step, the look on the mother’s face as she is encouraging them with love and excitement.  One of my feel good moments is hugging my kids and the emotions that wash over my system when I think of them.  For some people it is a memorable hike, a family gathering, an amazing ski adventure and for others it may be a jump into a lake on a hot summers day.

    What are your feel good moments?

    Take a few minutes and write them down.

    Come up with as many as you can so you have a variety to call on when you want to feel good in the moment

    Take one of those moments

    Reconnect with the feelings of the time

    Imagine your body reliving that moment

    Notice how your body feels

    Be with this feeling as long as you can

    Try to make a habit every morning, lunch, dinner and bedtime to connect with positive emotions – it will help you “feel good – in the moment”

    Take care all,

    Gerrianne